'Afternoon J,

Not required for work today [10thFeb], I chose to have a screening event for those of my registered gender-type in their 65th year - this meant, whether I chose to catch the bus or to drive, having to negotiate my threatening neighbours and their dogs; closing my garage door [circa 1500], 164's dog appeared, having made its way through the Council's conspicuous blue paint demarking approximately twenty historic incidents of dog-fouling, and began its racket. "Why is your dog barking at me?", I asked. "F*** off, you paedophile" came the wife's response. With my engine running under the canopy, it was difficult to make-out the meaning of the additional words, including more abuse, that followed, but I did ask if she knew what it meant and said that I didn't, in the main, like children. In fact, as previously stated in our correspondence, I dislike approximately 90% of the nation's children [on account of their propensity to litter], making yours truly, if an epithet is required, an elitist. A failed elitist perhaps. A convicted elitist, to the delight of many of your colleagues, certainly - but without an aneurysm!

D.